So I Sit And I Wonder If Its Over?

Since I have been home, things have been growing more and more distant, creating a palpable sense of unease that hangs in the air like a dense fog. It started from day one of me being here last year, when the initial excitement of reuniting was quickly overshadowed by an uncomfortable tension that neither of us seemed equipped to navigate. I think it was uncomfortable for both of us at first because we weren't sure how to act around each other, caught between the familiarity of our past and the uncertainty of our present. As the days turned into weeks and then months, I noticed that we ended up kind of just dealing with each other, almost as if we were two strangers sharing the same space rather than the close companions we once were. This gradual shift in our relationship dynamics has left me feeling increasingly isolated and confused. I am pretty sure that this is the position that we are at now; it feels like we are both just going through the motions. Only instead of merely trying to deal with each other, I think she is slowly pushing me away, creating an emotional chasm that seems to widen with each passing day. Her kisses are gone, once filled with warmth and affection, now replaced by a coldness that stings more than I care to admit. The once tender moments we shared have diminished into mere shadows of their former selves. The give-a-shit feeling is gone in her hugs, which now feel more like obligatory gestures rather than expressions of love or comfort. I can no longer sense the passion or connection that used to define our interactions; instead, there is a stark absence that leaves me feeling hollow. I just don’t know anymore. Each day brings with it a sense of uncertainty and heartache, as I grapple with the reality of what our relationship has become. I find myself yearning for the closeness we once shared, but it seems increasingly out of reach. I am left questioning what went wrong, how we drifted so far apart, and if there is any way to bridge the growing divide between us. The weight of this emotional distance is heavy on my heart, and I can’t help but wonder if it is too late to reclaim what we have lost.